Friday, February 21, 2014
Reflections All Around: "Ever has it been that love knows not its own dept...
Reflections All Around: "Ever has it been that love knows not its own dept...: 25 January, 2014 I contemplated what to write about on this day, because of its significance. Should I write about a failed revolution o...
Sunday, January 26, 2014
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
25 January, 2014
I contemplated what to write about on this day, because of its significance. Should I write about a failed revolution or the vision of families missing one of its members and wondering what that person's life was wasted for. I am far too sad, to burden myself with that image. So, I am going to write about how kindness grows where friendship does.
My second year in Nairobi just started. I fell I am at cross roads as I plan my next steps. But my friends, my neighbours, next door are already clear on their next steps. They are heading back home to Switzerland and they are all packed. Before they head back home, they will set on another adventure south, in the heart of Africa for a few weeks. They would then get on a boat and head north clockwise from south Africa all the way to Europe.
It has been one year that we spent together door to door. Our kids became friends despite their age difference. I felt safe in this new city, with them around; while they got to learn a bit more about what this Egyptian muslim woman stands for. Veronica and I had our fair share of story telling every day as we drove to work. We talked about the UN, bosses, husbands (trying to be bosses too), children (bossing other children around), our friends, dreams, our experiences in kenya and so much more. For the next few months, that road to work will be so lonely as I drive it on my own. I will only have my thoughts and some background music to keep me company and I will smile every time I remember Veronica's stories and will miss her each time I have a story to tell.
I, who come from the warm middle- eastern culture have grown to learn about how neighborhood should be from my Swiss friends. They are atypical in their warmth too which helped bond our friendship. I will miss hearing Bruno call his two children from the window to come up for dinner. I will miss the sound of his funny laughter and his kind nature. He amazed me at how self contained and organised one can be in the toughest of situations. As I stood there early in the morning to say goodbye, I watched him as he started fitting their luggage in the boot of that unexpected tiny car. He didn't lose his nerves, i would have. He just took a moment, adapted to the situation at hand. He didn't spoil the day, yell at the driver or flip while communicating to his children. And you know what, it worked out just fine. They would truly be uncomfortable sitting six hours in this tiny car all the way to Arousha but he didn't ruin his day or any one of his families for that matter.
My daughter and I were in tears as we said goodbye. It is hard to say goodbye to what made you happy. Malak will surely miss Anna and Lenos despite the brief time. We connected at a personal and human levels and we felt like family. I tried to comfort Malak and let her know that we will visit them some time, and will invite them over to Egypt when things miraculously settle down. I hope we can. But until then, it is important to cherish the time we spent together and the memories we have made. We may or may not meet again soon enough but when someone has been part of your life, it is helpful to think of what they have added. I can comfortably say, my swiss friends added generously a sense of "home" as I lived far away from home. They had iftar with me in Ramadan as I broke my fast, we exchanged Christmas gifts, we went on Safaris together and we exchanged vegetables when we ran out of onions or tomatoes or whatever. When someone makes you feel home, they have touched you at a very deep level. I am also confident how they feel about us and that we have also touched their lives with some kindness. There is no doubt, they will remember us likewise.
This thought, triggered an answer to a question my friend who always challenge me with difficult questions posed. She said "Why do you leave the door opened for those who add nothing to your life?". My answer to her today is: You are right! There are people who are worth keeping in our lives and there are those who we should gently walk them out and close the door behind. Having Bruno, Veronica, Anna and Lenos; as well as some wonderful other friends I met here who I will name them in other stories has added kindness to my life. The kindness you want to have more in your world to add up and make the world better. I certainly need to do a lot of cleaning of my closet and search for such gems to replace the piles that will add nothing but clutter to my life.
My dear Swiss friends, you are among the gems that I found this year and plan to keep. Thank you for revealing yourselves and see you soon.
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
I contemplated what to write about on this day, because of its significance. Should I write about a failed revolution or the vision of families missing one of its members and wondering what that person's life was wasted for. I am far too sad, to burden myself with that image. So, I am going to write about how kindness grows where friendship does.
My second year in Nairobi just started. I fell I am at cross roads as I plan my next steps. But my friends, my neighbours, next door are already clear on their next steps. They are heading back home to Switzerland and they are all packed. Before they head back home, they will set on another adventure south, in the heart of Africa for a few weeks. They would then get on a boat and head north clockwise from south Africa all the way to Europe.
It has been one year that we spent together door to door. Our kids became friends despite their age difference. I felt safe in this new city, with them around; while they got to learn a bit more about what this Egyptian muslim woman stands for. Veronica and I had our fair share of story telling every day as we drove to work. We talked about the UN, bosses, husbands (trying to be bosses too), children (bossing other children around), our friends, dreams, our experiences in kenya and so much more. For the next few months, that road to work will be so lonely as I drive it on my own. I will only have my thoughts and some background music to keep me company and I will smile every time I remember Veronica's stories and will miss her each time I have a story to tell.
I, who come from the warm middle- eastern culture have grown to learn about how neighborhood should be from my Swiss friends. They are atypical in their warmth too which helped bond our friendship. I will miss hearing Bruno call his two children from the window to come up for dinner. I will miss the sound of his funny laughter and his kind nature. He amazed me at how self contained and organised one can be in the toughest of situations. As I stood there early in the morning to say goodbye, I watched him as he started fitting their luggage in the boot of that unexpected tiny car. He didn't lose his nerves, i would have. He just took a moment, adapted to the situation at hand. He didn't spoil the day, yell at the driver or flip while communicating to his children. And you know what, it worked out just fine. They would truly be uncomfortable sitting six hours in this tiny car all the way to Arousha but he didn't ruin his day or any one of his families for that matter.
My daughter and I were in tears as we said goodbye. It is hard to say goodbye to what made you happy. Malak will surely miss Anna and Lenos despite the brief time. We connected at a personal and human levels and we felt like family. I tried to comfort Malak and let her know that we will visit them some time, and will invite them over to Egypt when things miraculously settle down. I hope we can. But until then, it is important to cherish the time we spent together and the memories we have made. We may or may not meet again soon enough but when someone has been part of your life, it is helpful to think of what they have added. I can comfortably say, my swiss friends added generously a sense of "home" as I lived far away from home. They had iftar with me in Ramadan as I broke my fast, we exchanged Christmas gifts, we went on Safaris together and we exchanged vegetables when we ran out of onions or tomatoes or whatever. When someone makes you feel home, they have touched you at a very deep level. I am also confident how they feel about us and that we have also touched their lives with some kindness. There is no doubt, they will remember us likewise.
This thought, triggered an answer to a question my friend who always challenge me with difficult questions posed. She said "Why do you leave the door opened for those who add nothing to your life?". My answer to her today is: You are right! There are people who are worth keeping in our lives and there are those who we should gently walk them out and close the door behind. Having Bruno, Veronica, Anna and Lenos; as well as some wonderful other friends I met here who I will name them in other stories has added kindness to my life. The kindness you want to have more in your world to add up and make the world better. I certainly need to do a lot of cleaning of my closet and search for such gems to replace the piles that will add nothing but clutter to my life.
My dear Swiss friends, you are among the gems that I found this year and plan to keep. Thank you for revealing yourselves and see you soon.
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Kindness is an Act of Love
This world is becoming so messy, too much hatred and violence around. Danger is so unwelcomed yet so unbelievably close and real. If we allow ourselves we will sink in the gloom around. I was thinking yesterday about how beautiful this country is, how warm people are and how everyone smiles to you despite all. It is sad to see people confused and uncertain.
How do I get my mind distracted and find light in its compartments. Pictures are so powerful, they remind us of situations and people. They retrieve our feelings about them and make us think deeply. Pick the happy ones, if you are looking for happy thoughts. I am thinking of the many acts of kindness and love I am showered with - small things but real, simple and sincere.
I am thinking of those today and the people involved; and that’s my way to stay positive. May be it can inspire others too. No tags. People know themselves….
I replied that I was fine, but they call me an hour later to check I “sound” fine.
Just a little precious time left before they have to be at the airport heading home, they make the time to stop at my favorite “life is good” store to pick that shirt I once said I liked.
They heard the story a hundred times, as boring as it may sound, they remain as patient and concerned as the first time I tell it.
I am out of town, living in my bubble; they call me from the heart of the square so I would hear the crowds cheering, as they “know” I would have wanted to be there.
They write an article on new beginnings, and make reference to the friend in me who crossed their mind.
Despite a very short encounter with them and rare communication, they remember one thing they cherish about that encounter and try to remind me of.
They tell me they miss me and they show it in simple ways to leave no doubt it is true.
On a random day, no special occasion at all, they give me a call because they want to hear my voice.
I find them liking a picture of me, which I posted many years ago.
They call me by that special nickname they made up and they know it will put a smile on my face.
On my birthday, though many miles away, they wrap sunshine in a box and sent it my way. Before I opened the box, I knew exactly who it would be from.
They had enough level of comfort with me to give me their hair cream and cooking pan as they moved on to another country.
I find myself thinking of them every time I crave sushi, ice cream or have a walk.
They retweet, quote and favour my random thoughts and heartfelt sayings.
Remembering memories of things we did together and smiling with so much joy wishing we can bring back that time when the small things mattered.
We share the same passion for extra hot, caramel latte and would be very unhappy if it were otherwise
We may not speak, meet, or connect for a long time but I know the minute, I need guidance they will generously be happy to provide.
They share a poem or a song they know I would like.
They share a poem or a song they know I would like.
The first email from their new inbox lands in mine.
A bunch of flowers to brighten my day is their special way of showing they care.
A long drive with endless conversations, loud music and the sound of two travel companions singing along at the top of their lungs.
They forgive my butterfly obsession and encourage it to grow.
They enjoy swimming with me on Saturdays and cherish it as a ritual.
Their strengths and resilience in difficult times, is an inspiration of mine when hard times call.
I miss the sound of their laughter.
I miss the sound of their laughter.
The way we pick up where we left, like I saw them yesterday even though it has been quite some time.
Their morning text message every day for years.
They may be be young, and inexperienced yet their natural wisdom is invaluable.
The way I feel at home in their home, any time, every time and all the time.
The way I feel at home in their home, any time, every time and all the time.
And the list goes on……
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love”
Friday, March 30, 2012
To last forever
Fill it with deep understanding
Let it be true and undemanding
And it will last for ever
Build high walls of dreams around it
Let it be secured and defended
And it will last for ever
Forgive the ups and downs
Love the smiles and frowns
And it will last for ever
Listen, contain, care
Give, take and share
And it will last for ever
Wessam El Beih
Copyright ©2007
Let it be true and undemanding
And it will last for ever
Build high walls of dreams around it
Let it be secured and defended
And it will last for ever
Forgive the ups and downs
Love the smiles and frowns
And it will last for ever
Listen, contain, care
Give, take and share
And it will last for ever
Wessam El Beih
Copyright ©2007
Close Friend
A close friend is like the sky
No matter how far, I will see
And in the darkness I look up high
Its guiding stars will shine on me
In time of need the sky will know
What to send down my way
It may be rain, it may be snow
It may be sunshine through my day
When it's cold, the sky will vow
A sunny day is sure to follow
When I am lost, some how
its warmth sweeps away the sorrow
A close friend is like the wind
Carries me above the highest cloud
And gently my friend will find
A time to bring my feet to ground
Copyright ©2008 Wessam El Beih
No matter how far, I will see
And in the darkness I look up high
Its guiding stars will shine on me
In time of need the sky will know
What to send down my way
It may be rain, it may be snow
It may be sunshine through my day
When it's cold, the sky will vow
A sunny day is sure to follow
When I am lost, some how
its warmth sweeps away the sorrow
A close friend is like the wind
Carries me above the highest cloud
And gently my friend will find
A time to bring my feet to ground
Copyright ©2008 Wessam El Beih
On My Thirty-Nine Birthday
On my thirty- nine birthday, I prepare to witness the last year of this decade and I write this note as a gift to myself. My gift is to remind myself that life is what we make of it and that a fully meaningful and authentic life is what I am determined to live. I am alright with disclosing my age and take pride in challenging those who say women usually won’t. I know my childhood friends won’t mind me doing that so much.
It matters to me what font I type my words and I realized that I have to like how the words look to me with the first few words, not at the end of what I write. The core lesson I remind myself of is that “what matters to me, is important”; how I see the world and my comfort with what I say or do is what I will not compromise. I am content with my life; with many wonderful people to cherish, things to be proud of and I feel I am on a purposeful path in this world.
Sitting here on my couch with the break of the morning, trying to let my thoughts flow without an agenda, and hoping it will some how make some sense at the end. I have committed to writing three morning pages each day to unlock my creativity. A complete flow of words that I do not read again is what I originally signed up for. It is so hard, I have to confess. For those who seek perfection, which I realize does not exist, but we seek it any ways it is hard. It is even harder to stop that voice in the head that speaks up so loud wanting to make a statement on every occasion. Writing from my heart was easier when I was younger and even more unpolished. Now I have professionally been trained by life to let my head interfere and sensor what I write. Not good. That voice speaks all the time, haunting me even in my dreams. Heart speaks more sincerely and without reservations if you unleash it. Head interferes to politicize your inner most emotions. What a muddle?
How beautiful it is to just “be” and let life do its job of being. How very natural to let yourself become part of the world around you and give yourself completely. How very hard for those who do so. In this moment when I am just flowing inside out, am aware of my self and surroundings. I hear the background singing of early rising birds and the farther work of an engine. I see the curtains of my window move gracefully with the slow breeze and I can feel the grin on my lips as I type those words. But, here I go again, that voice in my head is loudening again objecting to the flow of words from my heart. Demanding me to get real, get to the point, stay focused and make sense. What if I just not make sense to any one, but make sense to me. Would that be too hard to handle? A million buts that awful, nosy, voice of so called reason flags at me to keep me from my dreams.
I close my eyes and imagine myself by the sea hearing its waves so strongly and allowing it to move my inner storms and settle my inner winds. I think of running there whenever I feel I need a louder voice than reason. It is hot and humid and I can’t drink that hot coffee next to my reach. May be I can move away; go out on the terrace, be more in touch with the beauty around and cultivate the beauty I see within. May be I can. It is not beyond my reach.
Friday 1 July 2011
It matters to me what font I type my words and I realized that I have to like how the words look to me with the first few words, not at the end of what I write. The core lesson I remind myself of is that “what matters to me, is important”; how I see the world and my comfort with what I say or do is what I will not compromise. I am content with my life; with many wonderful people to cherish, things to be proud of and I feel I am on a purposeful path in this world.
Sitting here on my couch with the break of the morning, trying to let my thoughts flow without an agenda, and hoping it will some how make some sense at the end. I have committed to writing three morning pages each day to unlock my creativity. A complete flow of words that I do not read again is what I originally signed up for. It is so hard, I have to confess. For those who seek perfection, which I realize does not exist, but we seek it any ways it is hard. It is even harder to stop that voice in the head that speaks up so loud wanting to make a statement on every occasion. Writing from my heart was easier when I was younger and even more unpolished. Now I have professionally been trained by life to let my head interfere and sensor what I write. Not good. That voice speaks all the time, haunting me even in my dreams. Heart speaks more sincerely and without reservations if you unleash it. Head interferes to politicize your inner most emotions. What a muddle?
How beautiful it is to just “be” and let life do its job of being. How very natural to let yourself become part of the world around you and give yourself completely. How very hard for those who do so. In this moment when I am just flowing inside out, am aware of my self and surroundings. I hear the background singing of early rising birds and the farther work of an engine. I see the curtains of my window move gracefully with the slow breeze and I can feel the grin on my lips as I type those words. But, here I go again, that voice in my head is loudening again objecting to the flow of words from my heart. Demanding me to get real, get to the point, stay focused and make sense. What if I just not make sense to any one, but make sense to me. Would that be too hard to handle? A million buts that awful, nosy, voice of so called reason flags at me to keep me from my dreams.
I close my eyes and imagine myself by the sea hearing its waves so strongly and allowing it to move my inner storms and settle my inner winds. I think of running there whenever I feel I need a louder voice than reason. It is hot and humid and I can’t drink that hot coffee next to my reach. May be I can move away; go out on the terrace, be more in touch with the beauty around and cultivate the beauty I see within. May be I can. It is not beyond my reach.
Friday 1 July 2011
The Selected Few of the Crowd
Lay back and think about that sunny day
With a vast crowd that piled along the way
Lay back, recall how it feels
Not at ease, singeing your heels
When that cloudy sky came to my stare
Too soon before I could prepare
Lay back, recall the crowd dispersed in haste
Feeling breathless, at vain, and in waste
I never want to be in that place again
Where I cannot withstand such pain
Lay back and think of the selected few
All along the way right before you
They’d rather die
Than to ever make you cry
The faulty fail to spot what’s true
And misses on the selected few
Lay back, let it settle, recall your deed
A selected few of the crowd are all you need
Wessam El Beih, July 2010
With a vast crowd that piled along the way
Lay back, recall how it feels
Not at ease, singeing your heels
When that cloudy sky came to my stare
Too soon before I could prepare
Lay back, recall the crowd dispersed in haste
Feeling breathless, at vain, and in waste
I never want to be in that place again
Where I cannot withstand such pain
Lay back and think of the selected few
All along the way right before you
They’d rather die
Than to ever make you cry
The faulty fail to spot what’s true
And misses on the selected few
Lay back, let it settle, recall your deed
A selected few of the crowd are all you need
Wessam El Beih, July 2010
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