I have changed. I have grown and evolved.
In a world that is going towards a pitfall, it may seem so trivial to reflect on my own self. But I realize that “I” am the only person I have control over. If I dig deep enough into me, I can read more about myself; understand more about the bubble I live within than what I would attempt to comprehend of what’s going on in the world. In a time where people lose their lives, dignity and security for no justified reason, I am not certain I want to be associated to this world in the first place. I feel shame of belonging to humanity. But since there is no voluntary way out of this world- I decided that for now I will reflect on my own bubble.
What we learn from our experiences determine what kind of people we develop to be over the years. I decided I am going to go over the things I have come to learn through this past year that have contributed to the change within me. I also became conscious that as we learn new things, develop new experiences, we also have to remember that sometimes we need to unlearn some of the things that do not help us grow to be better people. I am making those reflections public, well as public as my nature can tolerate. They may mean absolute nonsense to others and yet they may strike a cord. This is my commitment: to hold on to the useful lessons of life and to unlearn those that would tarnish my inner soul.
I realized that no matter how hard life strikes me it is all about how I react. Every passing moment, good or bad is time lapsing from my life. A moment that will never come back. It will pass and will never last. No matter how strong my feelings are at those moments they will also not last.
I learned that it is easier to live in a box predetermined by our society. People are ready to live your life for you if you let them, but what would that make you? Even though it is harder to get out of the box and design your own living terms, it is more fulfilling and coherent. I choose to be out of the box.
I learned that we have to learn to be deaf at times to the calling off voices of “You can’t”, “it’s too late”, “it’s too hard”, “it is inappropriate”. I learned that it is never too late to start pursuing your passion. Any time is good to start, and if so then it might as well be now. I spent years putting off plans for things I wanted to do, but not any more. I am amazing myself. Go ahead and start. Live your own life your self.
I have come to realize the power of “thank you” and “I am sorry”. We all need to be appreciated. We all need a pat on the shoulder uttering “well done”. Thank you makes a person feel noticed and valued. It works like magic, reinforcing the will to do more. So efforts and good deeds do not pass unrewarded. Behaviors that are rewarded are repeated. I am dazzled at those who forget to say thank you.
I also learned that when I say to someone “I am sorry”, I am genuinely stating that it is meaningless to have one’s ego get in the way of nurturing a relationship. The ability to affirm other’s righteousness and one self’s short fall is a blessing. It takes courage to say it and be willing to step back and go another direction. And when heard has a magical spell for undoing hurt, and lessening pain that may have been caused.
I learned that every time I feel sorry about something I did wrong or something I did not do well (or at all). I will not only feel sorry. I will say it. Every time I feel touched by the kindness of another person. I will not only feel thankful and smile. I will say it.
I learned to stand more firmly to what I believe is right, fair and true- even if it will not please those around me. I am getting more comfortable with the phrase “I am sorry I do not agree with you at all” and still be able to end the conversation kindly.
I learned that parting is not sweet at all but a lot of sorrow. Nevertheless, I decided to look beyond the imperfections. I realized that airports are not all about departures. They are also about reunions and arrivals. Watching people cry as they part, feeling how hard it is to let go, touches my heart. But I am intrigued as I watch others waiting for their loved ones, looking anxiously beyond the gates to glance those they await. I observe the running, the hugging, the kissing, the passion and the longing. I learned to appreciate that if there were no departures, there will never be arrivals.
I learned that unconditional love rarely exists. Well some one once told me that only small children and puppies can give love unconditionally- I agree. I look at my six years old- so innocent and full of love. She loves her class mates, thinks of what she will share with her friends at school, makes beaded necklaces for her best friend, writes I love you notes to her teacher. She doesn’t think of what they will say, or whether they would love her back or whether the necklace will be worn or if the love note will be thrown away. She loves unconditionally. But as we grow up this becomes less likely. Love needs work- you breed, you reap.
I learned that people can abuse you emotionally. But that no one can hurt you without your consent. I have come to believe that I would rather be giving love than not being blessed with the ability to love.
I raise my eye brows for people who let meaningful relationships wither and die. Regardless of how much they say they care, they do not do the effort to make those relationships thrive. I look at those with wonder and think to myself, it can’t be that hard for any one to let some one they care about know that they are special. It is not enough to love some one; we have got to learn how to love them. But I realized that nurturing relationships is a skill and a talent not every one is gifted with. It takes effort and creativity to learn to make people feel loved and appreciated.
For the sake of rescuing relationships, some of us have tolerance for not getting enough of the warmth of appreciation and self worth from those we call our closest souls, while others have less tolerance to that. But even with those who can live with it, they are not doing themselves or the relationship any favors. I understand that very well now. Tolerance is a blessing in general but it cannot be a mean for doing oneself injustice. There is no salvation in that. You can be a rescuer but for goodness sake be a rescuer with pride. Have limits for your tolerance to others unfairness.
I learned that taking people for granted is a transgression. People need to know that they are appreciated. Who wants to be taken for granted? I doubt any one would jump and say ‘I do”. I believe that at this time of my life, I only want to be surrounded by people I love and who I can make and be happy around.
I am learning to accept myself as I am and to work harder to make a better version of me. I learned to love myself a bit more. I am learning to accept that I cannot do it all, I have limitations and I must realize that it is ok to say “I can’t”.
I learned that friendship is my blessing. People I have as true friends will always be there for me and I for them. I need to learn that not every one I know is my friend and that I cannot consider every one my friend. I have to learn to manage my expectations and to realize that it is foolish to assume people will behave that same way I would.
I concur that the best indicator to a person's character is how they treat people who can't do them any good, and those who can't fight back. I learned that people, who are usually considered as flies on the wall, can be a source of your happiness and self gratification.
I learned- but am trying to accept- that I do not have the answer to every thing around me, to every human behavior. Some times I can drive myself crazy asking why did this happen? People are not all rational and they react based on several factors other than reason. I learned that not every one will like me even if I have done no harm to them. That I cannot and should not please every one. I have to learn to live with the fact that the sun will not always be shinning.
I learned that losing some one you love is painful, but what is worse is the fear of losing some one you love. The waiting, the pain of their sufferings and the helplessness for relieving their pains is immense. I learned that no matter what I do, there will be some people that I want to keep in my life but just can’t. I also learned that my life is not all up to me and some times I have to accept that I am not in charge.
Sometimes, I feel helpless, disempowered, disadvantaged, lonely or isolated. I learned that it is never too dark, always to look for that spark within and there will be light. I learned to count my blessings when I am down or uptight. I realized that I just need to think of the difference I can make in one other person’s life to feel how powerful I can be. There is pleasure in the giving. You can always give something even if only kindness. You heel yourself in helping others and lift your own pains as well as theirs and make yourself a better you.
I learned to be excited about the small pleasures of life. It is exciting when I wake up in the morning and find a new flower budding in my plant. I consume myself in that small art project with my girl. I indulge in my favorite lemon flavor ice cream when my friend treats me to it on that cold winter day. I smile when the office boy I knew eight years ago calls me on every occasion to wish me well. I feel warmth when I get a message from some one I care about just checking on me. I treat myself to a bunch of flowers when ever I need a morale boost. I have come to believe that it is the small things that really make a difference. So do not overlook the small things.
I learned that I have got to unlearn many things accumulated through the years. That my innate nature and virtues are what I need to hold on to.
I learned that anger, getting back, getting even hurts me more than it hurts others and leaves blemish on me rather on the other person. I need to unlearn those feelings.
I need to unlearn to anticipate trouble and worry about what may never happen.
I need to unlearn to share my fears with others. I need to realize that those around me need my courage to be able to go on even when my fears have strong basis.
I need to unlearn to remember every little thing that has been said because some things are better forgotten than remembered.
I need to learn to remember this quote from Winnie the Pooh: “You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
In a world that is going towards a pitfall, it may seem so trivial to reflect on my own self. But I realize that “I” am the only person I have control over. If I dig deep enough into me, I can read more about myself; understand more about the bubble I live within than what I would attempt to comprehend of what’s going on in the world. In a time where people lose their lives, dignity and security for no justified reason, I am not certain I want to be associated to this world in the first place. I feel shame of belonging to humanity. But since there is no voluntary way out of this world- I decided that for now I will reflect on my own bubble.
What we learn from our experiences determine what kind of people we develop to be over the years. I decided I am going to go over the things I have come to learn through this past year that have contributed to the change within me. I also became conscious that as we learn new things, develop new experiences, we also have to remember that sometimes we need to unlearn some of the things that do not help us grow to be better people. I am making those reflections public, well as public as my nature can tolerate. They may mean absolute nonsense to others and yet they may strike a cord. This is my commitment: to hold on to the useful lessons of life and to unlearn those that would tarnish my inner soul.
I realized that no matter how hard life strikes me it is all about how I react. Every passing moment, good or bad is time lapsing from my life. A moment that will never come back. It will pass and will never last. No matter how strong my feelings are at those moments they will also not last.
I learned that it is easier to live in a box predetermined by our society. People are ready to live your life for you if you let them, but what would that make you? Even though it is harder to get out of the box and design your own living terms, it is more fulfilling and coherent. I choose to be out of the box.
I learned that we have to learn to be deaf at times to the calling off voices of “You can’t”, “it’s too late”, “it’s too hard”, “it is inappropriate”. I learned that it is never too late to start pursuing your passion. Any time is good to start, and if so then it might as well be now. I spent years putting off plans for things I wanted to do, but not any more. I am amazing myself. Go ahead and start. Live your own life your self.
I have come to realize the power of “thank you” and “I am sorry”. We all need to be appreciated. We all need a pat on the shoulder uttering “well done”. Thank you makes a person feel noticed and valued. It works like magic, reinforcing the will to do more. So efforts and good deeds do not pass unrewarded. Behaviors that are rewarded are repeated. I am dazzled at those who forget to say thank you.
I also learned that when I say to someone “I am sorry”, I am genuinely stating that it is meaningless to have one’s ego get in the way of nurturing a relationship. The ability to affirm other’s righteousness and one self’s short fall is a blessing. It takes courage to say it and be willing to step back and go another direction. And when heard has a magical spell for undoing hurt, and lessening pain that may have been caused.
I learned that every time I feel sorry about something I did wrong or something I did not do well (or at all). I will not only feel sorry. I will say it. Every time I feel touched by the kindness of another person. I will not only feel thankful and smile. I will say it.
I learned to stand more firmly to what I believe is right, fair and true- even if it will not please those around me. I am getting more comfortable with the phrase “I am sorry I do not agree with you at all” and still be able to end the conversation kindly.
I learned that parting is not sweet at all but a lot of sorrow. Nevertheless, I decided to look beyond the imperfections. I realized that airports are not all about departures. They are also about reunions and arrivals. Watching people cry as they part, feeling how hard it is to let go, touches my heart. But I am intrigued as I watch others waiting for their loved ones, looking anxiously beyond the gates to glance those they await. I observe the running, the hugging, the kissing, the passion and the longing. I learned to appreciate that if there were no departures, there will never be arrivals.
I learned that unconditional love rarely exists. Well some one once told me that only small children and puppies can give love unconditionally- I agree. I look at my six years old- so innocent and full of love. She loves her class mates, thinks of what she will share with her friends at school, makes beaded necklaces for her best friend, writes I love you notes to her teacher. She doesn’t think of what they will say, or whether they would love her back or whether the necklace will be worn or if the love note will be thrown away. She loves unconditionally. But as we grow up this becomes less likely. Love needs work- you breed, you reap.
I learned that people can abuse you emotionally. But that no one can hurt you without your consent. I have come to believe that I would rather be giving love than not being blessed with the ability to love.
I raise my eye brows for people who let meaningful relationships wither and die. Regardless of how much they say they care, they do not do the effort to make those relationships thrive. I look at those with wonder and think to myself, it can’t be that hard for any one to let some one they care about know that they are special. It is not enough to love some one; we have got to learn how to love them. But I realized that nurturing relationships is a skill and a talent not every one is gifted with. It takes effort and creativity to learn to make people feel loved and appreciated.
For the sake of rescuing relationships, some of us have tolerance for not getting enough of the warmth of appreciation and self worth from those we call our closest souls, while others have less tolerance to that. But even with those who can live with it, they are not doing themselves or the relationship any favors. I understand that very well now. Tolerance is a blessing in general but it cannot be a mean for doing oneself injustice. There is no salvation in that. You can be a rescuer but for goodness sake be a rescuer with pride. Have limits for your tolerance to others unfairness.
I learned that taking people for granted is a transgression. People need to know that they are appreciated. Who wants to be taken for granted? I doubt any one would jump and say ‘I do”. I believe that at this time of my life, I only want to be surrounded by people I love and who I can make and be happy around.
I am learning to accept myself as I am and to work harder to make a better version of me. I learned to love myself a bit more. I am learning to accept that I cannot do it all, I have limitations and I must realize that it is ok to say “I can’t”.
I learned that friendship is my blessing. People I have as true friends will always be there for me and I for them. I need to learn that not every one I know is my friend and that I cannot consider every one my friend. I have to learn to manage my expectations and to realize that it is foolish to assume people will behave that same way I would.
I concur that the best indicator to a person's character is how they treat people who can't do them any good, and those who can't fight back. I learned that people, who are usually considered as flies on the wall, can be a source of your happiness and self gratification.
I learned- but am trying to accept- that I do not have the answer to every thing around me, to every human behavior. Some times I can drive myself crazy asking why did this happen? People are not all rational and they react based on several factors other than reason. I learned that not every one will like me even if I have done no harm to them. That I cannot and should not please every one. I have to learn to live with the fact that the sun will not always be shinning.
I learned that losing some one you love is painful, but what is worse is the fear of losing some one you love. The waiting, the pain of their sufferings and the helplessness for relieving their pains is immense. I learned that no matter what I do, there will be some people that I want to keep in my life but just can’t. I also learned that my life is not all up to me and some times I have to accept that I am not in charge.
Sometimes, I feel helpless, disempowered, disadvantaged, lonely or isolated. I learned that it is never too dark, always to look for that spark within and there will be light. I learned to count my blessings when I am down or uptight. I realized that I just need to think of the difference I can make in one other person’s life to feel how powerful I can be. There is pleasure in the giving. You can always give something even if only kindness. You heel yourself in helping others and lift your own pains as well as theirs and make yourself a better you.
I learned to be excited about the small pleasures of life. It is exciting when I wake up in the morning and find a new flower budding in my plant. I consume myself in that small art project with my girl. I indulge in my favorite lemon flavor ice cream when my friend treats me to it on that cold winter day. I smile when the office boy I knew eight years ago calls me on every occasion to wish me well. I feel warmth when I get a message from some one I care about just checking on me. I treat myself to a bunch of flowers when ever I need a morale boost. I have come to believe that it is the small things that really make a difference. So do not overlook the small things.
I learned that I have got to unlearn many things accumulated through the years. That my innate nature and virtues are what I need to hold on to.
I learned that anger, getting back, getting even hurts me more than it hurts others and leaves blemish on me rather on the other person. I need to unlearn those feelings.
I need to unlearn to anticipate trouble and worry about what may never happen.
I need to unlearn to share my fears with others. I need to realize that those around me need my courage to be able to go on even when my fears have strong basis.
I need to unlearn to remember every little thing that has been said because some things are better forgotten than remembered.
I need to learn to remember this quote from Winnie the Pooh: “You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
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